The Depths of Love
by Fourwords
Summary: I have no reason to stay." I cried, close to tears. "I'll give you a reason." he growled lifting my head and pressing his lips to mine. Blackwater with a Lemon. R&R x
1. Goodbye

AN: Hey this is my first Blackwater story but it's not going to be very long but i hope you like it anyway, orginally it was going to be Leah's thoughts as she left La push but it was wayyy too boring so how could i make it better? With some Blackwater and a lemon in later chapters ^^ Enjoy!

Summary: "I have no reason to stay." i cried, close to tears. "I'll give you a reason." he growled lifting my head and pressing his lips to mine. Blackwater with a Lemon. R&R Please x

Disclaimer: Unfortunately I do not own Twilight, nor do I own these really nice songs below.

* * *

Only in the agony of parting do we look into the depths of love.  
--George Eliot

* * *

I'm going away for a while  
But I'll be back  
Don't try to follow me  
'Cause I'll return as soon as possible  
See, I'm trying to find my place  
But it might not be here where I feel safe

We all learn to make mistakes  
And run from them, from them  
With no direction  
We'll run from them, from them  
With no conviction

- 'Misguided Ghosts' by Paramore

* * *

I slowly looked around my room, once messy with random junk thrown everywhere it was now clean, spotless and empty. It wasn't completely empty, it still had all its furniture in place but every surface was empty, no longer holding the contents it once did. All the personal touches in the room had been removed, making the light blue walls bare and giving the room a cold look.

Everything I owned now lay packed by my feet, twenty years of my pathetic life fitting into seven large boxes ready to go. Whatever was packed were the remains of my wardrobe, a few trinkets and a big fat photo album, the rest either thrown out or destroyed in my rage. Over the past week I had carefully begun to wrap up all the loose ends and now I had one last task to perform. Leaving.

It was still early, early enough that my mom and Seth were still sleeping unknowingly next door. I looked at my watch, 5.07am it read out, yes it was very early but I needed to get away at this time. Very few people knew of my plan, mom knew. I had told her yesterday afternoon after I made the decision to leave today instead of waiting another week or so. Telling my mother was proberly the hardest goodbye I had had to deal with and it hurt when I thought of how mom would find my bed empty this morning.

~ 13 hours earlier ~

I padded softly towards the kitchen where I could hear the familiar tinkling of mugs and spoons; I rounded the corner to see my mother hunched over the counter, stirring a cup of coffee. She didn't notice I was there so when she turned around she jumped but somehow managed not to spill the hot liquid.

"Leah! I didn't see you there." She breathed, laying a hand over her heart as she calmed her breathing. I stood there and shuffled my feet unsure of my next move, I knew I needed to do this and I couldn't back out of it.

"What's wrong?" she asked me, seeing my all too obvious nerves. Hearing her voice change in tone as she worried about me made my heart break as I thought of what I was about to do to her.

"I need to talk to you, it's important." I whispered not meeting her eye. She nodded and hurriedly rushed over to the counter and made another cup of coffee. She gestured for me to sit down and a minute later she placed a hot mug in my hands before settling down herself. Mom was one of those people who use cooking or doing small tasks as a way to calm themselves down, hence the cup of coffee I was now sipping, welcoming the burn in my throat as if it could stop the words I needed to voice.

"Mom, I'm leaving La push." I suddenly spoke into my mug, breaking the awkward silence. I glanced at mom who was gazing at her own drink.

"When?" she whispered, her voice broke slightly as she said it; I knew that those five little words would upset her.

"I don't know… soon." I replied, watching her reaction carefully. She turned to me then, her wrinkled eyes filled with glistening tears.

"Why?" she cried as a tear fell. She knew I was serious, that I once I make a decision about something I don't change my mind, I was like my father in that aspect. From the look in her eye I could tell she had never expected I would do something like this even though I had enough reasons to do so. So I told her the truth, the horrible naked truth.

"It hurts here, everywhere I go I can't escape the memories and each one kills me over and over again, I need a fresh start. Far away from La push." I announced to her, spilling my feelings and gripping on my mug a little too tight as I recalled how walking past the local park would make me think of sam, the walks we had there and I would be reminded of the pain he caused me.

"You can't run away Leah; you have responsibilities, your needed here." She argued, her tone raising a little as she would argue in vain to get me to change my mind.

"No I'm not, the packs hate me, either Embry or Seth will take over as beta to Jacob, I have no job here, you have Charlie and Seth is old enough to take care of himself." I said trying to eliminate all of mom's reasons for arguing.

"They don't hate you leah." She replied softly, not doubt trying to reassure me.

"Yes they do, I'm known as the pack bitch, no one ever wanted me there, Jacob didn't, Seth didn't and Sam didn't. I had to listen everyday to Sam wish I wasn't there, that I'd just go away." I choked out as the heartache set in.

Looking at mom I could tell she wasn't going to argue anymore, she had already given in, she was lousy at persuading me to do things, although I had expected her to put up a better and longer fight.

"Does Seth know?" she whispered, glancing at the door as if Seth was going to burst in any minute, which he proberly was. I shook my head instead of answering her.

"Are you going to tell him?" she added, I paused before shaking my head again. I heard a gasp as my mom realised that I wouldn't for the same reason I wouldn't say goodbye. My mom was smart; she knew that if I told Seth, he wouldn't let me go.

"You're not going to say goodbye are you, to me or Seth." She cried, it wasn't a question, it was a statement. A true statement. I shook my head to it.

"So your going to disappear, just take off without a word of warning?" She asked angrily, this time I nodded not trusting my voice.

"You won't even say goodbye to me?" she whispered, her voice fully breaking now as tears glided down her cheeks. I could feel the tears welling up in my own eyes; I pulled her into a fierce hug.

"This has to be our goodbye mom; I don't think I could take saying it before I'm right about to leave." I paused before continuing, trying to find the will to not crumble right there.

"You might see me again before I leave but you can't let Seth know that I'm going. I love you mom and I need you to do this for me." I mumbled into her shoulder. I felt her head bob up and down in a nod before she leant down a little bit.

"I love you too Leah, I understand why your doing this and I can't stop you, I know you'll take care of yourself." She whispered into my ear. I didn't answer, I couldn't master a reply, what more could I say to her? She was strong and I knew that she could handle my leaving. So my only response was a nod, confirming what she had just said.

"And Jacob?" she asked finally. And there it was. That dreaded question.

I hadn't decided weather to tell Jacob or not, he was the one of the main reasons I was leaving. When I thought of him a lump seemed to form in my throat. I couldn't stay around him anymore, it was driving me crazy. There was so much between us, recently I couldn't help but stare at his perfectly chiselled chest and once or twice I had caught his eyes grazing over my own body.

It was several weeks ago that I realised my feelings, I liked Jacob Black. _Really _liked him. A childhood playmate that had suddenly grown into a handsome, passionate man. We had been hanging out having a few beers when we ended up talking about our feelings which continued to talking about heartbreak.

I realised how heartbroken we still were, Jacob was watching Bella play happy families with leeches while he tried to remain her best friend, it was taking a heavy toll on him. When Jacob told me I was the strongest person he knew I was so moved and somehow we ended up kissing.

"He'll be ok without me." I whispered quietly, remembering his lips on mine, his sorrowful expression when I bolted out the door when we pulled apart.

Even though I had given her so little information I had a feeling she knew it would be permanent, that it was unlikely I would return. It surprised me that she didn't have anything else to say, but perhaps she knew that I needed it, I needed a fresh start, a release from my pain.

We hugged and cried for ages until I pulled myself away and ran to my room, she didn't follow and in the privacy of my own room I knew I wouldn't see her again for a long time weather she knew it or not. I spent the next few hours fiercely wiping away tears thinking of my mother and Jacob.

* * *

Like it? We see some of the Cullens in the next chapter so stay tuned and remember... reviews are love ^^


	2. A shaky truce

AN: a BIG thank you to everyone who reviewed, favorited or put this story on their alert, i feel all fuzzy and warm inside ^^ Can we do it again for this chapter?

Also check out my new one-shot called 'Ice Cream Kisses' - a little fun with Jacob and ice cream....

Disclaimer: If i owned Twilight, Leah and Jacob would be making loads of wolf babies ;P

* * *

When we get home I know we wont be home at all  
This place we live  
It is not where we belong  
And I miss who we were  
And the town we could call our own  
Going back to get away after everything has changed  
Everything has changed

- 'Franklin' by Paramore

* * *

~ The present ~

I could feel the tears stinging as I thought of my goodbye to my mother not a day ago, I didn't see her later that evening and that moment at the kitchen table would be the last time I would talk to her for a while. I don't think she would have suspected I would have gone this soon but everything was set, later as Seth hung out with the Cullens and mom worked a night shift I had packed everything up, I would be taking these boxes with me and whatever I had left I had taken down and put in the attic while everyone was out.

Quietly I picked up the boxes and went outside; I carefully lifted the lid of the trunk of my new car. It wasn't brand new but thanks to a considerable amount of money Edward had given me I was able to buy it. It confused me when Edward stepped forward and offered to help me. I wouldn't have accepted it normally but his insistence had completely thrown me.

~ Five Days Earlier ~

I was in bad mood; I was giving everyone the silent treatment as I brooded over my half formed plan. I didn't want to talk, not when I was so worried about what I was going to do, I had realised I was stuck and I didn't have anyone to turn to.

My dilemma was that I didn't have the money to support myself if I left La push, it was sad that I was twenty and still living off my mother. I had the money dad left me but it wasn't enough, I needed money for a car and enough to keep me afloat until I find somewhere to settle down.

How could I get away with no vehicle? I could run as a wolf but the other's would see my plans and stop me and how could I carry all the stuff I needed to take with me? I was careful not to show my thoughts around my pack, hiding the plan I had come up with barely two days ago. The sickly icy scent of the Cullen's plagued my nose and I fought against wrinkling it since I'd still smell it for ages. I was sat in the Cullen's living room as the others conversed around me; ignoring that I was even there.

I had no one to help me. My mother wouldn't have the money and neither would any pack mates be willing to lend any if they did. Getting a job was near impossible in such a small town where almost everywhere with decent pay was not taking on employees. If i wanted even a semi-decent job i'd proberly have to hike to Seattle everyday.

Even if I got a job it would take months to get the kind of cash I needed and I wanted to leave now. They say it's better to strike when the iron is hot and right now my plan was cooling considerably quickly.

Sighing I tried to put the situation to the back of my mind; I'd have to worry about it later. I looked over at Nessie who was playing in the middle of the living room using Jacob as her playmate, it was rather amusing watching Jacob trying to pull a Barbie doll's dress on back to front. You'd think after years of acting like a girl he had the whole doll thing nailed down.

I didn't know how Jacob was going to take me leaving, we'd both talked about it before Nessie was born but her birth had changed everything. Jacob would never leave now as he was also bound by his pack, one he had hoped he could disperse after Bella's pregnancy but it was unlikely he'd ever break up the pack. If he did i think Seth might cry, sometimes their bromance scares me.

But would he be angry with me? Jacob is the only person who understands what I went through; he went through the pain of being dumped for a bloodsucker which in ways was a hell of a lot worse than what i went through. At least Sam didn't leave me for a corpse. I don't know how Jacob mustered the strength to not kill the leech spawn, he told us he couldn't kill the baby, she was a part of Bella. At first I thought he imprinted on her, which would have sucked.

We hadn't spoken properly since the kiss, awkward conversations followed. I was sure the kiss had only been from the heat of the moment, I knew of my own feelings but I couldn't risk his, I had to leave soon.

I could run away but I'd be leaving Jacob without a Beta with no warning, he could easily command me to stay in La push if need be. I would feel better with Jacob's blessing, not that It would actually stop me if he didn't give it, it would be nice to have it although I wasn't sure if we could have a proper conversation anymore.

"Leah?" I heard my name being called, I turned around to see Edward standing by stairs, he looked at me apologetically. Dam mind reader, I could see he had heard everything I had thought since arriving here, I thought he had been out.

"Yeah?" I questioned raising my eyebrows, I wondered what he was going to say, was he going to convince me to stay? Blackmail me by threatening to tell Jacob perhaps?

"Can you come upstairs for a minute; I need your opinion on something." He asked innocently, Alice turned to him.

"What do you need her opinion for? What about mine?" she whined loudly, shooting a glare at her 'brother', it seemed faked, forced. This was making me suspicious then out the corner of my eye I saw Jacob watching our exchange.

"It's a surprise for Bella and I want Leah's opinion, with Leah involved you can't see it and tell Bella." He shot back, Alice pouted and I numbly nodded and started to follow him upstairs, instead of stopping on the second floor he continued up another flight and pushed a door open. He stood back and let me enter first.

It was a bedroom, a large bedroom with thick carpet and had long thick golden curtains lining the walls. One wall was vastly dominated by CD's and records, against another wall was the biggest bed I had ever seen, its sheets matched the gold drapes. I heard the door click softly shut behind me and I turned to face the bloodsucker.

_Why the hell did you bring me here _I asked in my thoughts, if Edward was going to discuss what I was thinking I wasn't going to talk about it and give the other vampires a chance to listen in with their supersensitive hearing.

"I brought you to my former bedroom; with my love for music it is entirely soundproof to human ears." He informed me while gesturing to the thick drapes.

_No one here has human ears. _I growled quietly at him, had that fact eluded him or did he think his family was actually human instead of the bloodsuckers they are?

"Your pack's ear's are human enough, they won't hear us and at least to my _vampire_ family our conversation won't be as clear, it will be much quieter. He said, not the least bit annoyed with my attitude.

_I'm guessing there's no surprise for bella then. _I chuckled looking around the room, no offence but it didn't look like bella would be that interested in much in this room. She was such an airhead she proberly couldn't pronounce half the classical composers whose work lined the wall but then again… neither could I.

"No, but I needed a cover so Jacob wouldn't suspect me talking to you, the same reason Alice jumped in to help, she knew I'd need her interference but not what for. Jacob was wondering why I would ask you for your help instead of Alice." He explained, so that explained Alice's interruption.

_So your going to try and get me to stay aren't you? _I asked quietly, knowing he had seen my thoughts.

"On the contrary, I was thinking the opposite of asking you to stay." He mumbled, a felt a swell of anger at his words, of course the stupid bloodsucker would want me out the way, so much for the ease on vampire/werewolf relations.

"That's not what I meant by it, I'm offering you my help actually." He said walking over to a thick bookcase and sliding it effortlessly out the way. It revealed a large grey metal door, I watched shocked as Edward entered some numbers on a keypad and the door swung open. Inside it was stacks of cash, thick wads piled high on each other, I felt my jaw drop at the sight.

_Wha-t-t…what do you…mean? _I stuttered in my mind, unable to absorb the sight of Edward casually rolling a thick wad of cash in his fist as if it was a bit of worthless paper. To him it proberly was.

"I heard your thoughts downstairs; I can help you financially if you need it." He replied casually.

_I'm not going to accept your money. _I mentally snarled, the thought of getting some money was appealing but I wasn't going to accept help from a vampire, it went against everything I was. I'd rather be homeless for a while.

"Would you really leah? You know you need this money and I'm offering it too you, let's put our difference's aside, I only want to help you." His tone was gentle and persuading as he said it.

_Why? _I choked, I was stumped as to why my moral enemy was preparing to help me, I have never been polite to him, I had shouted at his wife when she was pregnant and dying and I'd had rudely refused his adoptive mother's food and clothes. He had no reason to help me.

"Leah, I've seen your mind but I don't need my ability to see your heartache, I was once heartbroken, i remember how... unbearable it was, but if Bella had never saved me I would have never healed. You can heal Leah; I know what didn't work for me might work for you. I also tried to leave to escape the pain but my efforts were in vain, yours however will not be. Therefore I want to help you." He concluded, the whole time he was speaking I felt the tears well up as what he was doing sunk in. I blinked them back before he had a chance to see them.

_You don't know me; you can't understand what I've been through! _I rudely shot back, but as much as I hated him, I couldn't help but feel a slither of warmth that he had spared a second thought for me.

I had to admit I was slightly touched, that a _bloodsucker _was actually willingto help _me_. And Edward of all people, out of his whole family I hated him the most, well apart from his wife. The money was appealing, it would prevent me from living out of a cardboard box and maybe, just maybe… this could be a basis for some sort of truce between us, it would proberly be a shaky truce but it would be something.

Edward nodded slowly, a small smile on his face. In a gesture of thanks I stepped forward and put my hand out.

Edward leant forward and gently clasped my hand in his, his skin was freezing and hard but I ignored the urge to snatch it away and gently shook it, it was quite a big step for me, I had never allowed myself to be near them much and now I was shaking hands with a vampire. I almost snorted at that thought.

After our quick handshake Edward turned back to the safe and pulled out a small square book and held it up so I could see it.

"So how much will you be needing?" he grinned and pulled out a pen from the inside of his expensive jacket.

* * *

How you liking the story so far? Next chapter we finally see Jacob and that mysterious kiss Leah talks about in the first chapter...


	3. Open your eyes

You guys are... AMAZING! Seriously the amount of emails i got about reviews and favourite story/author and story/author alerts made me speechless, so i thought i'd give you the chapter with the kiss early ;)

Right i'm hoping you won't get confused here, but theres a flashback within a flashback here and the next chapter will resume from the first flashback, get it?

Disclaimer: If i owned Twilight Jacob would never have imprinted, But i dont... so he did.

* * *

Tell me that you'll open your eyes

Tell me that you'll open your eyes

Tell me that you'll open your eyes

Tell me that you'll open your eyes

Get up get out get away from these liars

Cause they don't get your soul or your fire

Take my hand knot your fingers trough mine

And we'll walk from this dark room for the last time

Every minute from this minute now

We can do what we like anywhere

I want so much to open your eyes

Cause I need you to look into mine

- 'Open your eyes' by Snow patrol

* * *

~ The present ~

Edward's cheque had burned in my pocket for two days before I actually cashed it, I was terrified I'd lose it; the cheque was worth more than our house. I hadn't returned to the Cullen's since then, when we rejoined the rest of the family I had quickly begged Edward not to tell Jacob about my leaving and he'd nodded. Edward and I didn't show the family our new found comradeship; in fact we'd acted the same as before although I tried to hold my sarcastic tongue a little more which i think he appreciated greatly.

With the money I had brought a second hand car, if it was brand new it would raise suspicion as to where I got the money but I managed to convince everyone that I had paid for it with some of the money dad left me.

I had now managed to fit the boxes into the car with space to spare, I had tiptoed through the house carrying them but thanks to my werewolf strength it was no problem and I had managed to not wake up anyone either which i viewed as a huge plus.

I crept back into the house and quietly looked through all the rooms. Even though I lived here, or had lived here it didn't feel like home, not since dad died. It felt off limits now, like dad's armchair that still sat in the corner of the living room, I don't think anyone had sat in it since he died.

The family photo's still remained undisturbed on the mantle piece, a darkness seemed to hang over this room, too many memories were here, ready to cause heartache at every turn. I walked over to a large table and reached into a drawer; bringing out the old family photo album.

I decided to sit in Dad's armchair, I perched on the edge of it and balanced the album on my lap, I took a deep breath before opening it. First off were family photos, black and white photo's of my parents as children, teenagers and their wedding day then pictures of me and Seth as children, ones of me hugging Seth who grimaced at being hugged by his big sister. There was a picture of me playing in the rain with dad as we splashed through puddles.

There were photos of me and Seth with other kids we knew, Emily, Rachel and Rebecca, Paul, Embry, Quil and Jacob. All different ages but it didn't stop our parents throwing us together for play dates.

There was a picture of me and Jacob, I was six and he was about four, we were playing together in the mud, both laughing and sharing toys. I traced my finger over his huge grin and felt the swell of emotion inside me, when it became too much I quickly turned the page.

The next lot of photos were of us as we gradually grew up, but the photos of me suddenly aged four years between two of the photos. I recalled that this was the section that contained pictures of me and sam, all of which I had removed and burned. I flicked through the rest of the photos, pausing at various points and chuckling quietly to myself.

I stopped at the last photo in the album, a fairly recent one it pictured the whole of Jacob's pack. From the left it pictured Embry, Quil, Seth, Jacob and on the outskirts of group was me. The boys had massive grins on their faces while I stood slightly apart from them, Jacob in an attempt to pull me in had his arm thrown over me but he only managed to reach the back of my neck, leaving a huge gap between us. I was smiling, but anyone could tell it was forced; it didn't reach my haunted looking eyes.

I would miss my pack, they drove me crazy but each was a brother. I gently took the photo out and put it in my pocket before putting the album back. I don't know when or if I'll see them again, I had avoided phasing for the last few weeks, apart from last night. The memory was fresh in my mind and I moved to distract myself.

Once I had put the album back I had nothing more to do, my thoughts turned to Jacob. The last time we had spoken was in the earlier hours of this morning, after my tearful goodbye to my mom and packing some of my things I had to get outside and phase for what could well be the last time.

All this morning I had tried to refrain from thinking about the disastrous conversation with Jacob, trying to remember anything but what had gone on in the early hours of last night.

~ Five hours earlier ~

I was sick of packing, my eyes still stung from saying goodbye to my mother and loading 20 years of memories into boxes was emotional. I stopped packing and headed for my window. I gently slid it up and was assaulted by the cold night air.

I had to get out of here for a while, I wanted to run, feel the winding whipping against my fur. I didn't know if I'd phase again, perhaps when I leave here it will be better to stop phasing and start aging again, try and have a normal life.

I pushed myself through the window and I landed on the grass with a soft thud, my room was closest to the tree line which I ran to. I was thankful it was dark; I didn't need neighbours asking why I was disappearing into the woods this late. Although I didn't need them asking that question at all. Once I was deep enough in the trees I quickly stripped off and left my clothes next to a thick tree stump, I dived forward and where my hands should have collided with damp earth there was now furry paws bounding across it.

_Leah? _Came Jacob's confused thought once he noticed my phasing.

_Hey Jake, just started patrol?_ I asked trying to be innocent.

_Yep. _He replied casually before we both turned our thoughts away. I had forgotten Jacob was on patrol tonight and now awkwardness was pouring down on both of us. Jacob was really good at hiding his thoughts; he did it for ages when he ran away after the newborn battle. I on the other hand wasn't as good and I was doing my best to concentrate on sounds around me.

Suddenly Jake's control slipped and I was bombarded with images of myself, they were from his perspective and close ups of me, I realised it was from the kiss we shared a few weeks ago. Seeing it in his mind reopened my own memories and suddenly neither of us could close the flood gates. Our memories matched, only seen from a different perspective.

~ Two weeks earlier ~

I was sick of feeling like this, heartbroken and bored out of my mind, Seth was around Embry's playing some stupid videogames and mom was working. Looking around the house I couldn't be bothered to watch television or do anything. Out of pure boredom I decided to take a walk.

Once outside I relished the crisp cold air that almost seemed to burn my lungs, inhaling deeply I wandered down the street at an idle pace. I had nowhere to go but at least the air was helping me clear my head. For ages I simply walked until I ended up near the outskirts of La push, I considered phasing and running but remembered that Quil was on patrol, I couldn't be asked to deal with his overprotective thoughts over Claire or stories of how they watched some barbie princess film together, sighing heavily I began walking home.

I took the long route home and walked slower, gazing up at the sky which for once was clear, stars were dotted across the sky. It was a beautiful sight; it was so rare that we ever saw them, small blinding points of light.

Rounding the corner I saw Jacob's house with the lights still on, it was a little late for Billy to be up, Billy was a firm believer in early bedtimes and a decent night's sleep and like clockwork was in bed at 9.30pm unless there was an emergency. It was also rare for Jacob to be home, normally he was at the Cullens, Embry's or our house, but rarely home. Curious I wandered up the small path and knocked on the door. Within a few seconds the door swung open.

"Leah?" Jacob questioned once he saw me, he looked a little confused as to why I was knocking on his door so late, before I could say anything he lifted his hand to his mouth and I only managed to see the beer can encased in his large hand.

"Drinking Jacob?" I frowned then nodded at the can.

"Huh? Oh yeah." He said looking at the can, he quickly downed whatever was left in the can and crushed it, the sound of metal bending filled the air, with a sharp flick of his wrist he threw the twisted metal over his shoulder.

"Does Billy know your drinking?" I asked raising my eyebrows. Another thing Billy didn't believe in was underage drinking. He'd go crazy if he caught Jacob downing beer.

"Nope, he's on a fishing trip with Charlie Swan, not back until tomorrow afternoon." He grunted leaning on the doorframe.

"Got any more?" I asked hopefully, Jacob grinned before stepping aside and allowing me in.

"Sure Beta." He smiled, scooping down and grabbing a beer, I managed to catch it before it collided with my chest. I wasted no time in opening it and downing half the can almost instantly, it was cheap and warm but it contained a decent amount of alcohol so I wasn't going to complain.

We both flopped down on the sofa and watched some TV, the show we watched was actually quite funny and I found myself laughing so hard some beer came out my nose which made Jacob fall to the floor as he held his sides laughing so much. We kept drinking and I was grateful I was a werewolf, no human could drink this much and still be conscious but my body could handle it well.

We both couldn't hide our disappointment when we realised we were starting to run out of beer, there was some left which earlier I had decided to put in the fridge and I sent Jacob to get them, a few minutes later he returned and handed me the beer.

"So why are you drinking anyway? I thought you were responsible." I stated welcoming the cold metal into my grasp. Jacob flopped down beside me, his expression suddenly filled with sadness.

"I thought I was too, but it turns out that I was wrong." He frowned staring at his beer can.

"You didn't answer the question Jake." I pointed out to him; he sighed and turned the television off.

"Just stuff." He shrugged.

"Wow, what a detailed answer. Surely you don't think I'm just going to settle for that." I laughed, Jacob rolled his eyes at me but he knew I wouldn't give up now I knew something was wrong, I could get pretty protective of my pack if there was something wrong, it was an annoying habit I'd recently picked up.

"It's so hard, Bella's playing happy families with a vampire and a mutant kid and I have to stand there and watch as she dances around with no heartbeat." He shuddered at the last part but his shoulders slumped forward with the heartbreak he'd been hiding.

"You don't have to watch Jacob, why do you stay if it's getting to you so bad?" I questioned my eyebrows pulling together; I never understood why he stood by her, throughout everything, even through that whole royal vampire confrontation thing.

"Because… I still love her." He whispered staring down. I felt my stomach drop, I couldn't explain why I suddenly felt so upset to hear him say that, I had thought he was over her but it shouldn't even matter to me if he was or not.

"Maybe… it's time you let her go Jacob." I suggested resting a hand on his arm in a comforting way.

"I've tried, god I've tried so hard. It hurts like hell and she wants me there, she still wants me there as a best friend and its only worse when Edward struts around parading his dead sparkly wife around." He muttered darkly.

I had to hold back a laugh at the mental image of Edward freaking Cullen _strutting; _it added a whole new dimension to his stuck up prissiness. After that I felt the anger swell, that was low if Edward was thrusting Bella's cold ice heart in Jacob's face.

"Then tell her she needs to move away, there's nothing stopping her now, tell her it's time she stopped stringing you along. You need to get over her already!" I exclaimed, Jacob stared at me blankly as I said the words but soon his face twisted into anger.

"Seriously Leah? You're telling me to get over Bella already and yet you're still not getting over Sam, you know what Leah? I don't think you're the right person to be giving me relationship advice, it's not like you're very good at them." He snarled furiously at me.

I froze, the first emotion that came to me was disbelief, the second unbelievable fury and the third was overwhelming hurt. It was a hard mix to have. I wanted to shout back at him, I had only been trying to help but I couldn't bring myself to, instead I just dropped my head, the truth in his words hurt a hell of a lot more than I was willing to admit.

Jacob seemed to pick up on the fact that he had gone a bit too far, his face twisted into horror as I avoided his gaze, my eyes blinking furiously in an attempt to hold back the tears. _I will not cry, I will not cry, dam it Leah don't cry! _I chanted over again in my head. I couldn't explain the tears, I'd laughed off much worse insults but for some reason my tear ducts seemed to be extra sensitive around Jacob.

"Oh god Leah I'm sorry! That was unfair, I was angry and I took it out on you, I'm sorry." He gushed quickly leaning over and trying to see my face. Luckily no tears escaped me as I looked up at him.

"Jeez Jacob grow a pair will ya? You don't insult someone then take it back you wuss." I laughed feigning humour, Jacob frowned at me.

"I know but I am sorry Leah, it was outta line and I –" I held my hand up cutting him off.

"No, it's true. I deserved it, don't be sorry Jake." I told him looking down and whirling the still unopened can around in my hands.

"Leah, why are you here?" Jacob questioned suddenly, I looked up in surprise at him.

"Do you want me to go?" I asked standing up and heading for the door without his answer, I felt his arm grab me, he twirled me around to face him.

"No! Tonight's been good. _Really _good. But I know why I'm drinking so much but why are you?" he indicated to the large pile of empty cans around the room, most of which had been mine.

"Hasn't Seth told you? I'm an alcoholic." I laughed kicking some cans out the way.

"Haha, now the truth." He demanded moving closer.

I looked up at him, his expression was determined, he wasn't going to let it go but for some strange reason I actually _wanted _to tell him. As if laying all my problems on him would somehow cure them. I put this down to the alcohol but it also seemed the alcohol was in control of my mouth too.

"I'm here because I don't want to be alone, I've been alone for so long and no one understands what it's like. I still have to see Sam walk down the street with Emily on his arm and a wedding ring sparkling on her finger instead of mine. No one wants me, no one ever wanted me." I exploded throwing my hands in the air.

"Your not alone Leah." Jacob whispered softly he tried to put a hand on my shoulder but I shrugged it off and continued.

"I am, I'm ugly and useless. If I was any good then Sam would have imprinted on me but I'm not so i can't have big wolf babies. I'm cold, heartless, cynical, bitchy and annoying, I'll be alone for life and there's nothing I can do." I huffed angrily, I could feel the tears coming and I tried desperately to stop them. Jacob looked furious.

"Are you blind Leah?! Open your dam eyes! How can you say that about yourself? You'd never end up alone. You're the most beautiful girl I know; anyone can see your passion, your loyalty. You're so strong, you can take anything and you don't let anyone mess with you or those close to you." He rushed suddenly gripping my shoulders, I was astonished at his outburst but he still carried on.

"When I went through all that crap with Bella it was you who was there, who understood and tried to help despite the fact that no one was there for you. When I ran away I felt ashamed because I didn't have the guts to stay like you did, you are so much braver than anyone I know and aren't afraid to stick up for what you believe in. Everyday I wish I can be like you, strong and independent and you're so beautiful that every time you're around I can't help but hope that you'll smile, because when you do, it makes me feel a hundred times lighter." His eyes were boring into mine as he spoke.

"Your amazing Leah, when you finally find the right guy he should feel lucky, lucky that when he wakes up in the morning, the first thing he'll see is your face. That each day he knows that hes blessed just to be near you, that when he's depressed your voice is the only one that can reach him in the darkness, that even after decades together he'll still get a buzz from kissing you." he declared passionatly.

He was still talking but I my brain couldn't seem to handle any more, I was amazed. I watched as his lips continued to move, speaking with a passion that right now was falling on deaf ears. I was suddenly aware of how close we were, his russet skin so close to my own. It sent a thrill down my spine and his grey eyes seemed to burn as he looked into mine. Without a thought I leant forward, cutting Jacob off by capturing his lips with mine.

Instantly he pulled me closer, wrapping his arms around me, I threaded my hands into his hair pulling him closer. Our lips moved together in perfect rhythm and soon I felt his tongue against mine, I refused to let him have the upper hand and threw myself into the kiss, both fighting for dominance.

After a few seconds my brain started functioning again, the moment was perfect but now my thoughts were screaming at me. I realised why they were, I was kissing Jacob. But it wasn't just Jacob; it was my alpha, my best friend, a pack member. _An unimprinted man_.

What the hell was I getting myself into?

I couldn't get involved with Jacob, I was only setting myself up for more heartbreak if I did because eventually Jacob was going to imprint and leave me.

Like Sam.

I stopped dead. Jacob felt me tense up and pulled back confused. He looked at me, his eyes still burning but this time I could see the worrying edge in them.

"Lee?" he asked unsure. Panic rose within me, I couldn't do this. I shook my head, allowing the tears to well over as I backed away.

"I'm so sorry Jacob." I choked out in a whisper; his expression was a mix between sadness, horror and confusion. I took one last look before turning and bolting for the door.

* * *

*Sniffs* Poor Leah... Don't forget the next chapter picks up at the first flashback when they're both in wolf form and don't worry there's a lemon too... ;P

Reviews are Love!


	4. Just say yes

AN: I hope you don't get confused here, this is still the flashback from the last chapter when they were both in wolf form, also...

Anyone like lemons? Yes? Well sit back and enjoy ;p

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any songs/quotes in this fic

* * *

I'm running out of ways to make you see

I want you to stay here, beside me

I won't be ok and I won't pretend I am

So just tell me today and take my hand

Please take my hand

Please take my hand

Just say yes

Just say there's nothing holding you back

It's not a test

Nor a trick of the mind only love

- 'Just say yes' by Snow Patrol

* * *

After that both mine and Jacob's thoughts focused back from the memories, we both felt the pain the other had gone through that night but his was stronger because he had watched me turn my back on him and run away.

But the pain wasn't the only thing we both had felt, another strong feeling came across in the emotional replay from both sides, mixing in from different points and was overwhelming almost every other feeling. It was dangerous and I recognised it from a long time ago. Love.

He had seen it from my point of view just as I had seen it from his, I couldn't believe how strongly he had meant what he had said to me and he was a little annoyed that I hadn't heard half of what he had told me. But he had picked up on one thought I had had.

_Leah, I'm not sam. _He thought softly.

_Not yet, but you'll imprint and I'll be back to square one. _I choked out showing him images of myself when Sam first broke up with me.

I hadn't ever shown anyone these memories partially because I had tried so hard to suppress them. I had nearly been like a zombie, only dad threatening my ass made me get out of bed in the morning. It was so hard to see Sam that I burnt every picture of him, I cried so much in the beginning I thought my tear ducts might empty completely. When my eyes finally ran dry I tried my hardest to never cry again.

That was when i stopped caring about many things, when i retreated so far into myself i didn't recongise the girl in the mirror, the one with hollow cheeks and haunted eyes.

Jacob was shocked, he had never seen these images because I had shut myself away for the first few weeks, Seth barely saw me and Sam knew better than to come near me in that time. Dad warned him that he'd let me use his old shotgun on him if he dared come near the house or within 20 feet of me.

_Leah, I might never imprint. _He thought desperately, he thought of previous wolves we knew about, our ancestors who had never found imprints. Many hadn't, imprinting according to legend was rare but I easily countered Jacob.

_Jacob, we have ten wolves, four are imprinted, you're the alpha, its proberly almost guaranteed in your case, your gonna produce the biggest babies therefore you'll most likely imprint. _I argued back.

_It's not! Leah, you need to take risks, forget Sam, I'm not him, I'll never be him! _He exclaimed loudly in his head.

I took a deep breath; the onslaught of emotion was draining. I was so confused; my emotions were battling with my head. Deep down I wanted to believe Jacob, the feelings towards him were consuming me and I wanted nothing more than to be with him, kissing him. But my head was telling me no, to stand back and think. I had set up so many barriers around my heart but now it felt that Jacob was taking a sledgehammer to them and I was running around desperately trying to glue them back together.

I had come outside to clear my head and now if possible it was full to bursting point, now I wanted nothing more than to return home and get packing, the faster I got out of here the better.

I realised too late that Jacob had heard me.

_You're leaving!? _He yelled in surprise. I didn't answer but let the past memories of packing and flashbacks confirm it, Jacob's legs swayed underneath him and he lost his balance, crashing to the ground.

_Jake! _I called out in worry but he was already up again, so many thoughts and emotions were racing through him I couldn't pick them out.

_When? _He choked out finally, I could feel the fear in his question and I felt guilty giving him the answer.

_In the morning. _I whispered, Jacob had regained some control of himself and nodded silently. He thought nothing but quickly switched direction in running, straight towards me. I sat down where I was I didn't want to run away from him, if this was the last chance to see him in human form, I'd take it.

_What about the pack? You're going to turn your back on us? on me? _he thought angrily, images of the pack flashed through his mind, Embry, Quil, Seth and himself.

_Come on Jake, you don't need me. Seth or Embry wouldn't complain about getting a promotion to beta. _It was true, when Embry and Quil joined our pack Embry had moaned about having to follow me, when i'd threatened to order him to go eat a rather disgusting substance his complaining soon died down.

_Leah, i made you beta for a reason. Your a hell of a lot more braver than the others, your fast and you do come up with some pretty useful ideas. _He admitted truthfully, i couldn't but feel a small bit of pride, of course my ideas where always good.

_I know but they'll learn. Jacob, i need this. _I whined desperately. I so badly wanted a fresh start, away from here. New places, new faces, New me.

_I need you. _He seemed to choke on the thought and i felt too heartbroken to answer it. The silence in our minds was too loud, it seemed to scream at me.

Jacob became unusually quiet but his feelings were still running riot. Suddenly I remembered why it was familiar; he had let his animal side take over, just as he had after the newborn battle. It wasn't as strong as then but I could tell his thoughts were now tucked deep into his own mind.

It wasn't long before Jacob crashed right though the trees, his eyes focused only on me, I phased back but my body betrayed me by running forward, Jacob leapt straight towards me phasing mid air before capturing me in his arms when he hit the ground.

His huge arms encased me; he pressed his cheek to the top of my head. I was well aware that we were both naked but right now I didn't care.

"Don't go." He pleaded with me. I shook my head but it was almost impossible to do so in his crushing embrace.

"I need to get away, there's too many reasons for me to go." I whispered back, I wasn't sure if he heard me, my face was pressing into his chest but he pulled back to look at me, allowing me to breathe once more.

"Am I not reason enough?" he asked with his eyes burning into mine, I put my head down as I answered.

"We can't be together Jacob." I mumbled, I so badly wanted to say yes to him. I could see our whole future before me, me and Jacob together with the pack, maybe one day even getting married. Growing old together and watching the world go by. It was a tempting future and if imprinting didn't exist I would already be living it.

"We can work something out." He argued back, I shook my head at him.

"We can't Jacob, we're not over the heartbreak, I have no reason to stay." I cried close to tears, I was afraid my voice was going to crack and I'd end up caving in.

"I'll give you a reason." He growled tilting my head up and pressing his lips to mine. At first I didn't respond but my emotions were already going haywire, leaving Jacob behind was going to make me miserable so I might as well make the most of it.

So I him kissed back.

The kiss was better than anything I had ever felt before, passionate and consuming. After a minute he broke apart and bumped his nose against mine.

"Stay leah, Just say yes." He whispered before quickly capturing my lips again. I knew he was trying desperately to persuade me, I didn't want to give him the answer so I leant forward, deepening the kiss.

Like before our lips moved together in perfect sync but I let him have the upper hand as i surrendered myself completely to him. We were pressed closer ever than before and I loved the feeling when his tongue pressed against mine, I didn't want to break apart from him. Soon it wasn't just our mouths moving, my hands locked around his neck but his hands lowered from my back, brushing down my bare sides to my hips but one hand rested on the small of my back.

"Jake…" I whispered pulling back slightly, I didn't know how far we were going to go; I was torn as to which way I wanted it to go. It was clear how we felt about each other it's just I had trouble accepting it.

"Tell me to stop Leah." He challenged, his hands continued to roam my naked body. His touch sent tingles down my spine; I gazed into his eyes which smouldered with their intense lust. I knew he would stop if I asked but I couldn't make my lips move to tell him, I couldn't bring myself to tell him to stop but I wouldn't change my mind about leaving. I now knew how far this was going to go and I wasn't willing to stop it.

It was like an oncoming train.

Unstoppable.

Unavoidable.

I reached up and pulled Jacob's lips back to my own. Jacob immediately responded and soon I was lost in the kiss.

Jacob's lips left mine lowering down my jaw and neck until his breath lingered at the base of my neck; he placed small kisses there as a hand rose to my chest. He gently cupped my breast tweaking the nipple; I let out a loud moan and leant forward into his touch.

My rans ran over his back, his arms, his shoulders, his abs. They rushed with a passion i had never experienced before, not with Sam, not with anyone else. The heat from his skin seeped into mine making me more aware, i could feel a deep need rise within me, it smouldered in me like burning coals.

Jacob lowered me to the ground and hovered over me, he placed his lips at the base of my neck again kissing me gently, his kisses lowered down to my breast and he captured a nipple in his mouth, gently pulling it and teasing me. His hands traced over my skin until his hand rested on my stomach tentatively.

His breath was hot against my skin as my hands rested on his hips and tried to guide him to me. He resisted my attempts to draw him closer, choosing to torture me with his slow, delicate kisses. I wasn't sure how much more i could take before I forced him closer, i knew he proberly wouldn't complain if i did.

Eventually the need for him was also becoming too much and didn't meet any resistance from me as he shifted upwards, with his knee he nudged my legs apart, and moved further between them, i was losing it already, i hadn't been touched like this in so long that every movement he made against my skin sent waves of pleasure right over me.

He entered me slowly but kept withdrawing; I growled lightly as he withdrew again, he grinned before slowly entering me all the way. I gasped as I struggled to keep my eyes open through the sensation. We breathed heavy as we let the feeling take over; this was his first time and my first time for a very long time.

He leant forward catching my mouth with his as painfully slow he began to move within me, once he reached a steady rhythm I lifted my knee to my chest making him go deeper, we both moaned as he thrust deeper into me. His muscles were straining against mine as we lay there, escaped moans and sighs filling the air around us.

Soon his pace quickened and I lifted my hips to meet his with every thrust, with each one he was hitting the spot that made me gasp and my eyes flutter close, my body was shaking violently as I revelled in the sensation of Jacob within me, moving as one. I could feel the pressure building up, I opened my eyes to see Jacob's face also tensing up with pleasure.

Clumsily Jacob's hand wound up my leg, his thumb inched towards my centre, I placed my hand over his and moved it to where I wanted it most. I let out a deep moan when his thumb gently rubbed my clit around in circles. He kept doing it and I knew any minute now I was going to lose it, I was desperatly trying not to scream and to prevent the one bubbling up my throat I pressed my lips to his capturing him in a passionate kiss before grinding my hips down on him. Suddenly I was engulfed in pleasure as my orgasm ripped through me.

I felt my walls clench down on Jacob's hardness and I felt him fall over the edge within seconds of doing so, his life spilling into me as he tensed, sending a second wave of pleasure through my body. He moaned my name as he collapsed on top of me. His weight was crushing me slightly but I ignored it as I came down from the high.

Jacob rolled off me to the side, I shuffled closer to him and leant into his side, he put one arm around me. We didn't speak for ages as our breathing eventually slowed, we just looked up through the small clearing in the trees above us to see the sky, perfectly clear, just like two weeks ago.

"I'm sorry Jake." I whispered staring at the night sky. I felt slight movement next to me; I could feel his gaze on me.

"I Love you Leah." He answered; I looked up to meet his eyes. I could tell he meant it; the sincerity was there in his eyes. I wanted to say it back, but I couldn't. It scared me already as to how much I had let Jacob into my life in such a short period of time, how fast we had gone from friends to lovers or whatever we are. I had liked him for a long time before two weeks ago but that kiss had been like a catalyst and now the reaction was moving too fast.

If he was waiting to hear it back, he'd be waiting for ages. I needed to have complete trust in someone before I thought about telling them that, to make myself so vulnerable. I couldn't trust Jake to not break my heart if I stayed but if I left we'd be separated and it wouldn't matter how much we loved each other.

I stayed in his arms and remained silent, Jacob sighed. We didn't speak again but when I started to move away he pulled me closer one last time, he kissed me so softly it seemed his lips ghosted over mine. He pressed me to him carefully, I took a deep breath, savouring his scent and how it mixed with my own before peeling away from him.

I refused to look back at him; tears snaked down my face as I walked away into the night, my heart shattering with each step.

* * *

AN: I've never posted a lemon before, did you like it? Review and let me know (^-^)

The next chapter is the last, i'm sorry but this was never going to be a long story although this really annoying little thought keeps popping into my mind whenever i think of this story...

Sequel?


	5. Run

AN: Here it is, the final chapter of 'The depths of Love' Enjoy \(^-^)/

Disclaimer: The only time I'll ever own Twilight is in my dreams and even there the laywers find me and threaten to sue me.

* * *

Louder, Louder

And we'll run for our lives

I can hardly speak I understand

Why you can't raise your voice to say

Slower, slower

We don't have time for that

All I want's to find an easier way

To get out of our little heads

Have heart, my dear

We're bound to be afraid

Even if its just for a few days

Making up for all this mess

Light up, light up

As if you have a choice

Even if you can not hear my voice

I'll be right beside you dear

- 'Run' by Snow Patrol

* * *

~ The present ~

It was so hard to walk away from Jacob, I felt so alone as I crawled back into my dark room. I had packed everything up with tears running down my face and dripping onto the cardboard boxes.

I was ready to go, everything was packed, loose ends tied up. As much as I hated that I was leaving Jacob, it seemed like we had had the perfect goodbye, our feelings expressed through physical love. No kiss could top what we had done; no words could capture our love for each other.

I couldn't deny that I was head over heels in love with Jacob, it made sense that I should stay and be with him but in the back of my mind I would always be plagued by the heartache of seeing Sam, of suffocating in this small rainy town, the haunting fear of Jacob imprinting. Leaving offered me a relief from it all; I was prepared to face heartbreak by leaving what I wanted the most, Jacob. The heartache of leaving before having a chance to really connect with Jacob was better than being with him for years then being left for an imprint. I could never handle that again.

I was literally tearing myself apart; my thoughts were going crazy at this point. I wanted someone to hug me and tell me it was going to be ok. I wanted Seth.

I tiptoed back down the hall and pushed his door open softly, the room was dark, it wasn't even dawn yet. In the dim light I could see the outline of piles of clothes and rubbish strewn across the floor. I stood in the doorway and watched as Seth turned over in his sleep, his legs were tangled up in his sheets and his arm dangled off the side of the bed. I suppressed a giggle as his mouth hung open, a small line of drool wetting the pillow.

I edged closer cursing when I nearly tripped over something; I froze when Seth stirred again. Thankfully he threw his arm over his face and turned onto his back, kicking his sheets to the floor altogether and resumed his loud snoring.

Once close enough I perched on the edge of his bed, it was unlikely he would wake up, Seth could sleep through anything. Sometimes it took me ten minutes of yelling at his door to stir him. Slowly I reached over and moved his arm to his side so it wouldn't cramp up, I gently smoothed down some of his hair before looking at his face.

It was so peaceful, even in sleep his mouth was upturned at the corners. He had always been a happy kid; I felt a surge of protective love towards him as I thought of how effectively I was leaving him to fend for himself. It was unfair but I knew Seth could fight his battles. I had taught him well in the art of sarcasm.

I wanted to wake him up and hug him but I wouldn't. If I did then he wouldn't let me leave. I realised it wasn't fair to him if I left without some sort of goodbye, anything would be better than nothing. I rushed over to his desk and pulled the nearest paper pad towards me, throwing away several pens until I found one that worked and began writing.

_Dear Seth, _

_I hope you won't be mad with me when you read this; but you'd have every right to be angry. I can't stay in La push any longer; there are too many painful memories here, I hope you can understand. I'm sorry that I didn't talk to you about it, that I never said a proper goodbye to you; I just couldn't leave without giving you something. I know a letter isn't much but I couldn't say it to you in person, I knew you wouldn't let me leave. _

_I never was one for goodbyes but this one time I'm allowed to be all gooey (and I swear if you show anyone this letter I will kill you). I'm so proud of you Seth, you always try to do the right thing and think before you act which I've never been good at. You'll go on to do great things, whether it be college or whatever but I know you'll make a difference and I love you so much that it hurts me that I won't be around anymore to tease the hell out of you while you do it. _

_I want to ask you a favour, take care of mom. I know she's got Charlie but she still needs you, I was never good with dealing with mom, you were so I know you can protect her and be there for her. Also, keep an eye on Jacob for me; I can't be there to stop him from running into stupid situations so that job has to fall to you now. Watch over him as I have, be there for him. _

_I'm gonna miss you kid, I'll try and stay in touch but the truth is I have no idea where I'm going, where I'll end up so I can't guarantee when I'll see you again, when I'll even call. Just remember that wherever I am I love you and that I'm sorry. _

_Leah_

I gently folded the small letter up and placed it on Seth's bedside table; he'd find it there soon enough. I picked the sheets up off the floor and draped them over Seth, pulling them up to his chest and tucking them in slightly; slowly I leant down and kissed his forehead.

"Goodbye Seth" I whispered to his warm skin, his hand reached up and swatted the air where I'd kissed his head. I laughed quietly and left his room, glancing at my snoring brother before closing his door behind me.

I really had to leave now, I couldn't prolong my stay in this house, soon mom would arrive home from her night shift and would find me in the process of leaving, I didn't want that painful image for her.

I walked through the silent house, taking in the sight of my home for the last time, like I said in Seth's letter, I had no idea when I'd return, if I'd ever return. As I reached the front door I pulled out my keys, I unclipped the house key. Since I was moving out I had no right to own a key, I had to leave it _all _behind. I placed it down on the small table by the door.

I picked up the silver photo frame on the same small table; in its glittering frame was a photo, a recent one taken not long ago. It was at Sam's and Emily's wedding which I had promised to attend, it was me, Seth and Jacob on the dance floor. I had been drunk at the time, Jacob had secretly been drinking and was slightly tipsy and Seth had to keep an eye on us. We were all dancing, pulling funny moves as couples swayed behind us. Seth was doing the chicken, I was doing the robot and Jacob was attempting the moonwalk.

We each wore a grin as we laughed at each other, none of us faced the camera, it was a photo sneakily taken by Billy but in it me and Jacob were grinning at each other as we danced. I kissed my finger than placed it on Jacob's handsome face for a second. I put it down quickly and rushed out the door.

By the time I got into the car I was nearly hyperventilating, this was it.

With a shaking hand I turned the key in the ignition, the car purred to life instantly. I took a deep breath as I backed out the drive way, on the street I looked back at the house. The small white painted house where I grew up looked strangely alien now, the sky was still clear from last night and as dawn approached fast the dark blue stretch was quickly being streaked with beautiful shades of reds, oranges and gold's.

Tears welled over as I thought of my family, of Jacob. Their horror when they found I had left, the pain was crippling as I thought of Jacob's pain, would it be as bad as when Bella didn't chose him? Could he simply move on? For his sake, I hoped so.

I tried to concentrate on the road as I drove away, the car winded through the silent streets of La push as everyone slept safe in their beds. Tears were staining my t-shirt as I drove, I blinked to stop them but I couldn't do it and stray tears thudded on the steering wheel.

Soon houses started becoming further apart, the woods becoming thicker and closer to the road as I drove out of the towns limits. With each yard the car sped away from La push I felt a heavy desire to turn back, as if a strong cable was attached to me, stretching as I moved away, straining but not breaking.

It wasn't meant to feel like this.

I had dreamt that when I finally left this cursed town I would feel my worries drop as I sped away, that the feeling of freedom would take over. But it didn't. Tears fell heavier as I panicked over whether I was doing the right thing but I couldn't turn back now.

I was no longer in view of any houses, the woods were thick on each side of the road, which stretched both ahead and behind me. I pushed my foot down on the gas further desperate to get away from the haunting trees that twisted around each other on each side of me.

Suddenly a dark shape loomed on the horizon; at first I couldn't distinguish it in the dim light until the car was racing forward. When I could finally see the figure clearly due to my heightened senses, my breath hitched and my heart felt as if it had jumped into my throat. I immediately stamped on the breaks; the car lurched throwing me forward onto the steering wheel.

I ignored the sharp pain in my chest as it began healing almost instantly. I nearly ripped the seatbelt to shreads as I hurried to exit the car. I threw the car door open and jumped out, I clutched at the door in disbelief at the man standing roughly sixty yards from me.

Jacob.

He was staring at me, his eyes filled with pain and threatening to tear, it was too late for my own eyes and after the few seconds it took for the disbelief to disappear I was running towards him.

I had never run so fast, I think I set a world record for how fast my feet thundered across the road, faster than my wolf form, faster than a vampire. Jacob took a few steps forward before I smashed in to him, our arms open ready to catch the other.

The force with which Jacob held me in his arms was devastating, my ribs were being crushed and I couldn't breathe properly but I didn't care. My feet dangled above the ground as he held me, my arms gripped tightly to his waist while my tears fell onto Jacob's muscled russet chest.

I realised that now I was in Jacob's arms there was no longer the cable that was holding me to La push. Instantly I knew it hadn't been holding me to the town, it was to Jacob. Now the cable felt tightened, so tightened that it would hurt to leave his embrace. Reluctantly he loosened his grip on me and let my feet touch the floor.

"I'm sorry Leah; I had to see you, to talk to you." He explained cupping my face in his hands. I tried to speak but he cut me off before I could utter a word.

"No Leah, let me talk first." He demanded rather than asked, I complied, at this moment all I wanted was to hear his husky voice over and over again.

"I can't let you go; you're in my thoughts all the time. Surely you feel it too, this bond, this… connection between us. It's been getting stronger, at first I thought it was because I loved you but it's not, it's more than that." He gushed gesturing to the space between us. I simply nodded; I knew exactly what he meant.

"I need to be with you, more than I need air or food or water. I've never felt like this before and it hurts when I'm not near you, I _need _you, I always will." he declared gripping my shoulders.

"Jake, I can't stay." I whispered, I'd lost count of how many times I'd said it, to mom, to Jacob, to myself. It was something I couldn't change and in my head it was like a broken record, playing over and over again.

"I know, I'm not asking you to. But I won't stay here if you won't." he shrugged, my mouth popped open and I gasped quietly.

"But Jake, what about the pack? The Cullens? You're Dad? You can't just leave it all behind like I can." I pressed, Jacob had responsibility, I did too but he was bound by being the alpha.

"I talked to the Cullen's this morning, I actually yelled at Bella for all the crap she's put me through, Edward just sat there and let me. Then they told me they were moving away. With the Cullen's gone the pack won't have to patrol Forks anymore, they can quit or patrol La push under Sam. It's up to them what they do, if they want they can remain in our pack, we'll just operate over a large distance." He explained excitedly.

"Your dad?" I whispered, I couldn't manage more than that; my head was spinning with what he was telling me, I felt the hope inside me that Jacob might come with me.

"He has Rachel now, once she finishes college she's moving back to La push completely. She'll look after dad a hell of a lot better than I ever did and if he needs help he'll have Paul there too." He gritted his teeth over the part with Paul, he really hated it that _Paul _of all people imprinted on his sister.

"Wait a minute, I thought you still loved Bella, why would you yell at her?" I said backtracking, I remembered two weeks ago when Jacob told me he still loved her, after all this time.

He sighed and his hands dropped to my elbows, pulling me closer,

"After we kissed two weeks ago, I thought about what you told me and this morning when I talked to her I knew I didn't love her, not in that way, not anymore. Whatever romantic feelings I held for her died when she did. She's not the same Bella. I realised it was you I had always liked, ever since we were kids I had a crush on you and over these last months, as we've grown closer my feelings for you have strengthened." He voiced softly, bring one hand to stroke my cheek.

I pulled back slightly, Jacob looked surprised and hurt. It pained me to see him like that.

"But Jacob, we might feel like this now, we could run off into the sunset or sunrise in this case but what if you imprint?" I cried my voice breaking slightly, the thought now was extremely painful.

"Leah, what if I said was true, this connection between us, what if I was right?" he asked me, my eyebrows pulled together in confusion.

"What do you mean?" I questioned hoping for him to enlighten me.

"You've felt it right? It feels like I'm being drawn to you, any thoughts of separation hurts and it feels like my heart might stop if we're apart, over the last few hours it's become unbearable." He pressed, I knew he was right, it had. I had thought I might go crazy because of my constant thoughts of him.

"Yeah." I replied quietly so he knew I was following.

"Well I wondered if it was something more than love, I talked to dad about it an hour ago. He told me he had never heard of anything stronger than imprinting but proposed that maybe this was different, that you phasing wasn't just an unnatural occurrence. He said that perhaps love between wolves was the strongest bond, the ultimate pairing because it was based on choice, free will. That it could override anything, perhaps even imprinting." He smiled as he talked.

Again the hope rose within, could Billy be right? I had always thought I was a freak of nature but what if I wasn't? Was Jacob and I meant to be? Billy's explanation raised more questions than it answered but I found myself hoping it was true.

"But Jacob, it's just a theory, we don't know –"I tried to argue but Jacob pressed a finger to my lips, making me fall silent.

"Let me finish." He grinned before continuing. "I said the same to dad, he said he'd go to the elder's office when it opens and look through some old documents, he thinks he can find proof." My eyebrows shot up when I heard this.

"Proof?" I mumbled against his finger, Jacob nodded excitedly.

"Yes, he said there's a wolf legend that was meant to be banned. He doesn't know it fully but said that many years ago there was a great controversy within a pack. That a member supposedly fell in love with a witch." He explained, I rolled my eyes.

"So? How is that proof?" I asked.

"The witch was said to posses supernatural powers, never seen amongst the tribe before, that she 'defied nature' by invoking the spirits of our ancient ancestors." He continued, his face was lit up by the prospect and I could see where he was going.

"Spirits of ancient ancestors." I repeated mystified, could it mean what I thought it did?

"The spirit of the wolf, the ancient protectors of the tribe." He grinned.

"What happened to her?" I asked horror filling me. If this tale had been banned than it couldn't have a happy ending, the elders would not have liked the fact that a woman could phase into a horse sized wolf.

"She was burned alive by the tribe and the pack. Dad said they also burnt her for being a temptress." He frowned.

"A temptress?" I said also frowning.

"Leah, her lover… the pack member was imprinted." He whispered staring at me.

"What!" I gasped, it was impossible, imprints were never broken.

"I know, he was imprinted on the daughter of the chief who was the alpha of the pack. The wolf left the imprintee to run away with the female wolf but the alpha saw and ordered them back, the imprintee committed suicide so the alpha burnt the 'witch' alive for revenge." He muttered softly, it was an upsetting story, one I had never heard of before.

"And her lover?" I asked timidly, dreading the answer.

"Billy wasn't sure what happened to him, he says he was told that he threw himself into the fire after her." He finished quietly.

We both remained silent, I was astounded, could it be true?

"Why don't we know about this story? I thought Billy said there was no record of females phasing." I said thinking back.

"Technically there is no record we know of; dad could barely remember the story. The legend was forbidden to repeated, the alpha condemned the couple. Dad said that he doesn't know anyone else who would know it, not even Old Quil." Jacob pointed out.

"But why wouldn't your dad tell us this story at a bonfire?" I asked a little angrily, if Billy had known female shifters were possible, why wouldn't he tell me?

"Leah there are many wolf legends, besides dad thought that the story meant an actual witch of some sort. The story is biased; it paints her as a demon. It doesn't actually state that she phased, only that she invoked spirits, dad thought it meant she got high or worshipped the devil or something." Jacob shrugged at the end, I felt my anger melt as he spoke, it wasn't Billy's fault.

I thought of the story over and over again, if it was true then why did Sam leave me? I then realised I wasn't a wolf at the time, there was no special wolf bond to tie me to him. Jacob and I were wolfs at the same time, we shared a connection based on choice and magic. Jacob spoke again, cutting into my thoughts.

"Leah, I love you. I will go to the ends of the earth for you. No imprint will keep me from you; take a chance on me, please." He pleaded taking my hands in his.

I looked up into his eyes, which burned deeply with the love and lust I could see in them. I couldn't leave Jacob behind; it was something I couldn't deny any longer. I thought I could live without him but the truth was that I just couldn't

There was really only one option for me left. To leave with Jacob, to take the risk. If I was right I would gain everything I had ever wanted, to be happy. But if I was wrong it was likely I would lose everything.

But what more could I lose? They don't call it a risk for nothing, it was going to be difficult and scary to give myself to Jacob completely, but I could do it. Because I loved him and when you love someone how could you not do it?

"To the ends of the earth?" I asked again smiling; he grinned back and took my hand in his.

"No." he shook his head, frowning and releasing my hand. As if like clockwork I felt the rejection surge through me, fear pumped through my veins. I stared wide eyed at him.

Suddenly he pulled me closer so our noses bumped and our breath mixed my breathing elevating but still the fear didn't leave.

"I'd go further, to the ends of the universe." He laughed huskily; relief quickly chased the icy fear from my body as Jacob kissed me.

The kiss almost knocked the wind out of me, it was so…perfect. There was no other word to describe it, it was earth shattering, completely the best kiss I had ever had in my life, this kiss meant more than anything we had just discussed, our tongues danced for dominance, our bodies pressed so close together you couldn't slip a sheet of paper between us.

Unfortunately I had to break for oxygen, I gasped at the air, drawing it in quickly as if I had never breathed before. Jacob did the same, slowly he lowered me to the ground, I hadn't realised he had picked me up that far, but I hadn't really noticed much during the kiss.

In silence he threw his arm around me and I moulded myself to his side as we slowly walked back to the car. The light from the sunrise was soft as it shined down on us, casting our shadows to stretch out before us.

Once at the car Jacob got into the drivers seat while I pressed up next to him as closely as I could get, it was an awkward position but I wouldn't have it any other way.

"You'll really leave it all behind, your family and your pack?" I inquired quietly looking up at him through my tired eyes.

He started the car and had one hand on the steering wheel, the other draped over me, he sighed and looked down, his shaggy hair falling into his eyes slightly.

"Yes, because without you I don't think I could go on." He said sincerely, I rolled my eyes, it was so cheesy.

Jacob gently pushed the gas down making the car glide smoothly over the road, we were silent as he drove but it wasn't awkward, it was a content silence. Finally I felt happy, no longer conflicted.

"So where we headed?" Jacob asked his voice cutting through my thoughts. It took me a moment to think about it, there were many places I wanted to go, but we had forever to do it, right now I didn't care, I was happy and that was all that mattered.

"Anywhere, as long we we're together." I whispered finally, our eyes connected and a massive smile stretched over Jacob's face, he nodded and kissed the top of my head before returning his attention to the road.

I leant further into Jacob, as we drove further away from La push I finally felt the feeling I had been hoping for. Slowly I felt the freedom take over me, the shackles that once seemed to be permanently attached to me where falling off fast.

I finally had my fairytale ending, only it wasn't an ending. It was a beginning; I was truly looking forward to what the future held for me, for us. I knew we could face anything together and like some old cheesy lovesick movie, we drove away into the sunrise.

And funnily enough, I wouldn't have it any other way.

* * *

AN: *Crying* Oh I love happy endings don't you? Well, maybe not an ending yet... sequel anyone?

I would like to say a massive thank you to all those who have reviewed, favourited or put this story on alert, i've never gotten such a strong responce to any of my stories and for the past week i've been walking around with a huge smile on my face.

How about one more review? Did you like the ending? Also do you want the sequel i keep hinting at? If so, let me know and suggest some names for it too. Thank you so much for reading this story, your support was amazing.

~Fourwords~ x


End file.
